There was no going back…
It was an email. I had received thousands of emails in my lifetime, but never one like this. The intention was not to be heartless and the message itself was not cruel, but the message I got was loud and clear – you don’t matter. In one of the hardest times in my life, it was not the message I though I needed to hear, but it changed everything in an instant.
2020 had not been a kind year to me or my family. In November of 2019 my mother-in-law, who my family was very close to passed away suddenly and mysteriously. It shattered our world and we were still picking up the pieces when the pandemic shut everything down and I suddenly found myself at home with our two kids and homeschooling. Just as we were starting to figure everything out, our basement flooded and what stated out as just a little water turned into a monstrous reno. To say that I had my hands full when I got the email was an understatement.
Earlier, in 2019, I had started working on a guided journal program to work with how I felt about money and attracting wealth. In some of the exercises, it became painfully obvious that I was in a cyclical loop where I invested my time and talents into building other peoples businesses and accepted offers of being paid less and less while being demanded more and more of. I was diving deep into why I could not maintain my boundaries around my self worth around my work. It was odd timing that just as I was working through this hurdle that this loop should pop up again.
When I received this email, so many emotions popped up. I immediately wanted to fire back with a snappy response, but instead I took my time and calmly thought through my options and what each outcome could lead to. One problem about this exercise – every solution I came up with was what I would have done- not with how other people would react. To say the least – it got messy and was dragged out over several months.
When that email had landed in my inbox I was not in a rush to plan my next move. I had a few ideas of things that I wanted to do – someday, in the future – but not this year! That email changed everything – I went from building someone else’s business and someone else’s legacy to building my own. And I don’t play small.
Scott and I made the very difficult decision in a year where playing small and safe made the most sense to doing the opposite. We doubled down and bet big on ourselves and invested in courses to learn how to take our ideas and teach others online. I can’t say that it was an easy decision or that it wasn’t scary and stressful – but I can say that I and sure we made the right decision and am excited for what’s to come next.